Clay sits on the train taking him home to Mulberry, he looks at an old picture of Hope. The Photo is worn with time and has a few water stains on it, but we're still able to see her natural beauty. He runs his hand through his hair and mumbles to himself about "Not gonna be able to do this..." and steps off the train into the brisk night air.
For the first week Clay is in town he doesn't visit his old love, rather he sits in his hotel room at the Home-E-Hotel. Evenetually when walking to the grocery store he sees her and hides, after his return "Home" he decided it's time to visit her.
1. Clay talks to Hope and find out she no longer teaches and that she wants to spend time with him
2. Hope and Clay do some yard work the next day for an old woman they both remember.
3.
4. Clay and Hope go for a walk to their favorite places as children Apple Tree here
5. Clay hurries to the hospital when Hope is taken in. It's revealed there is nothing the doctors can do and Hope decides to spend her final days in her home. She invites Clay to live with her and take care of her.
Clay needs to overcome his nervousness in order to live with Hope. He does and spends only two days with her until she dies one afternoon. This drives Clay mad and he decides to kill himself.
It is only while standing on an old bridge that he sees an Apple tree by the side of bridge. He breaks down and while sobbing promises he won't do it, for her sake.
Clay finally ditches his stress (which he acquired up North anyways) and decides to live in Hopes home, he's also no longer depressed and the simple life Hope enjoyed is enough for him too.
Hi David,
ReplyDeleteNice work here. It would help if you label the sections so your readers know what parts of the outline they are reading. Fix that up and re-post for your audience.
What you've described in your "Set Up" Section sounds a bit more like the opening scene. What is the conflict? What is his problem? I think it would help to describe this in more general terms.
I feel like some of the sections here are a bit under-developed. We need to hear a bit more detail about what is going on in each of these sections.
Ms. Basko
This seems like a very sad story, but I think it will turn out really good for the final product. The only part that confused me was the yard work. Will this be a bigger scene in the script? I can't wait to hear more about this.
ReplyDeleteThe mystery of the opening scene pulls me in to this story. I like the simple beginnings, with feelings that we've presumably all felt before. It roots the story in real life and makes it all the more believable. All in all I like the feel of this story. However, I think you're missing information under "3." because the story doesn't flow correctly at that point.
ReplyDeleteI like the striking plot twist M. Knight Shamalan. I think it will bring vitality and suspense to the story. However, I am on the same page with Olivia. The yard work portion seems somewhat random and could be more developed.
ReplyDelete