Blog #11

EXT. HOPE'S front yard-DAY

CLAY approaches HOPE after being in down for several days, she's in the middle of some gardening in front of her one story white house. Flowers of all sorts surround her house and the small path of stepping stones leading up to it.

HOPE

(without looking) Izzat you Clay?

CLAY

 (surprised) Uh...yes?

HOPE

 Yes? You mean you're not sure?!

CLAY

 I mean uh...Yes. Yes it's me.

HOPE

(laughter) C'mon now Clay I'm just bustin' yer chops! Get over here!

CLAY walks up to HOPE who continues gardening keeping his hands in his pockets

CLAY

(Uneasy laughter) So... it's been a while huh?

HOPE

You kiddin' me? It's been a dogs age!

#10 Story Changing Dialogue

(Clay picks up the phone after a waiting till the last ring, debating in his mind)

Clay:...Hello?

Mom: CLAY! Honey how are you? Have you been eating well? How's work? Have you found a nice lady yet? Are you coming home for your fathers birthday...

Clay:(Interrupting but not rudely) Mom, what did you call for?
Mom: Oh! Sorry sweetie I lost my train of thought

Clay(inner): As usual...

Mom: Remember that Hope girl you used to run around with? Back in Mulberry?

Clay:(Interested) Yes, what about her?

Mom: She's sick sweetie real sick!

Clay: ...Well what is it? Do you know what she has?

Mom: They say it's luekemia... her mother just called me.

Clay: That's...That's too bad...they're sure?

Mom: Oh I'm sorry sweetheart I am, you should visit her you know! I bet she'd like that!

Clay: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea....Listen mom I gotta go, I'm kind of in the middle of something. Goodbye.

Mom: Okay sweetie I understand how busy you are, make sure to keep eating well! And get good sleep! And...

(Clay hangs up the phone)

Clay:(Internal) She won't even notice I hung up.

(Clay goes back to laying on his bed looking at the ceiling with the radio playing My Morning Jacket-Run Thru)

#9 Relationship Dialogue

(Clay approaches Hope after being in down for several days, she's in the middle of some gardening)

Hope: (without looking) Izzat you Clay?

Clay: (surprised) Uh...yes?

Hope: Yes? You mean you're not sure?!

Clay: I mean uh...Yes. Yes it's me.

Hope: (laughter) C'mon now Clay I'm just bustin' yer chops!

Clay:(Uneasy laughter) So... it's been a while huh?

Hope: You kiddin' me? It's been a dogs age!

#8 Dialogue

1. Effective dialogue moves the story forward
2. Effective dialogue reveals characters relationships
3. Good dialogue is believable
4. Monologues aren't for every character
5. Dialogue is the biggest part of your script

*Bonus* Writing in in dialects help

Blog #7 Hollywood Formula

Opening scene: The camera starts on a lump in a bed (Clay) he's a messy sleeper an almost looks worried in his sleep. The shot continues to change to him doing his morning routine all the while looking miserable. Brushing his teeth: Miserable. Showering: Miserable. Combing his hair: Miserable. Pouring Orange Juice: Miserable. Eating Instant Grits(The breakfast of the depressed): Miserable. We then see Clay walking down a painfully long spiral staircase, not a beautiful elegant spiral staircase, rather a tarnished industrial staircase in an equally sad apartment building with peeling paint and faded oriental rugs. Clay passes several solemn faces on his way out and none utter a word to eachother. As he steps out into a smoggy city street he takes a deep breath and sighs. The audience should understand that he's a depressed man

The Subplot: As Clay and Hope drive by the old "treasure chest" they hid, we leave the car that they are in and see a young boy and girl uncover the chest. They open it and see the instructions to the "real" treasure and decided to pursue it. (They then go by all the landmarks from Clays youth and build their own memories, when they find the treasure it's a drawing of a butt and a face with it's tongue sticking out. It was all a prank from Hope and Clays youth)

The "All is lost" Moment: Clay is on his way to Hopes house and when he arrives he see's a note on the door. It said her condition worsened and she's been taking to Hospice for the final days of her Luekemia. He then remembers her condition (something he'd forgotten after spending so much time with her) and falls back into a depressed state

Outline #6

Clay sits on the train taking him home to Mulberry, he looks at an old picture of Hope. The Photo is worn with time and has a few water stains on it, but we're still able to see her natural beauty. He runs his hand through his hair and mumbles to himself about "Not gonna be able to do this..." and steps off the train into the brisk night air.

For the first week Clay is in town he doesn't visit his old love, rather he sits in his hotel room at the Home-E-Hotel. Evenetually when walking to the grocery store he sees her and hides, after his return "Home" he decided it's time to visit her.

1. Clay talks to Hope and find out she no longer teaches and that she wants to spend time with him
2. Hope and Clay do some yard work the next day for an old woman they both remember.
3.
4. Clay and Hope go for a walk to their favorite places as children Apple Tree here
5. Clay hurries to the hospital when Hope is taken in. It's revealed there is nothing the doctors can do and Hope decides to spend her final days in her home. She invites Clay to live with her and take care of her.

Clay needs to overcome his nervousness in order to live with Hope. He does and spends only two days with her until she dies one afternoon. This drives Clay mad and he decides to kill himself.

 It is only while standing on an old bridge that he sees an Apple tree by the side of bridge. He breaks down and while sobbing promises he won't do it, for her sake.

Clay finally ditches his stress (which he acquired up North anyways) and decides to live in Hopes home, he's also no longer depressed and the simple life Hope enjoyed is enough for him too.

Passing Afternoon-Logline

When a banker returns to his southern hometown of Mulberry Virginia to make amends with his Leukemia stricken first love, he must overcome his stress and depression.