Blog #13: Farewell Friends (& Script Frenzy)

David DeGennaro
Creative Writing
Final Blog

When we first discussed the project I left class a bit overwhelmed. It surely seemed like an unconquerable task, One Hundred pages!  However now that it is done I’m sure I could have made it somewhat close to my goal, maybe 70-80 pages? This did not happen though as after the first few weeks I think the class decided you wouldn’t care how far we got as no one made much progress (other than a select few). Once the Stars stopped going on the board, I was done.  The entire planning stage was a great help and without it I wouldn’t have such three dimensional characters or a decent story, however thinking about one story for a month without writing any of it made me lose interest very quickly. The packet at the time seemed very boring and endless but in hindsight it was a great help (however still quite boring). I wish the packet took less than a whole month…
Tackling this enormous project I learned several things about myself, some good some bad. I am able to create large worlds with many intertwining scenes and characters, however I do not have the patience to put these worlds together…if only I could make a living telling stories orally. I also learned I love thinking of slow love filled thought provoking stories but I don’t exactly like writing them. I need action! I also learned I can write quite humorously (as seen in my final two pages).
I had fourteen pages in my final project, a good deal away from my goal of ninety…however I was actually pleased with my work. I handled my time very poorly and I was well aware of that at the time, like I said, once the class realized you didn’t really expect one hundred pages we gave up, sorry. I wasted almost all my time as did many of the people seated near me.
I’m very proud of my dialogue and characters as I feel they both seem very real and believable. Clay is such a flawed character and I sympathize with him a lot. Truth be told I put a lot of myself inside the script and to me it really shows. I only wish I stuck with my script and didn’t get bored so I could finish the darn thing and be proud for real! However for everything I’m proud of there’s two things that I am not proud of for this project.
I was lazy! I barely wrote anything compared to Matt, Olivia, and Peter! The worst part is I don’t even care despite knowing I should! Maybe that is just late senioritius…or an increase?
If we had more time to do this script I most likely would have added very little unfortunately. Eventually the slacking reached a point of no return and I decided why bother? I really felt like we spent our valuable class time somewhat poorly…we never even got to poetry. I really looked forward to poetry and my Creative Writing dream was dashed away as well…I wanted to write a short story. I wished to make the story of Clay and Hope so badly that I used it for my script and I don’t think it came out as well as it should have.
I really enjoyed this class with it’s fun students and surprisingly involving Disney talks, however this project simply was not for me (or anyone else in class from what I saw) and I wish we spent more time doing other projects.

Blog #11

EXT. HOPE'S front yard-DAY

CLAY approaches HOPE after being in down for several days, she's in the middle of some gardening in front of her one story white house. Flowers of all sorts surround her house and the small path of stepping stones leading up to it.

HOPE

(without looking) Izzat you Clay?

CLAY

 (surprised) Uh...yes?

HOPE

 Yes? You mean you're not sure?!

CLAY

 I mean uh...Yes. Yes it's me.

HOPE

(laughter) C'mon now Clay I'm just bustin' yer chops! Get over here!

CLAY walks up to HOPE who continues gardening keeping his hands in his pockets

CLAY

(Uneasy laughter) So... it's been a while huh?

HOPE

You kiddin' me? It's been a dogs age!

#10 Story Changing Dialogue

(Clay picks up the phone after a waiting till the last ring, debating in his mind)

Clay:...Hello?

Mom: CLAY! Honey how are you? Have you been eating well? How's work? Have you found a nice lady yet? Are you coming home for your fathers birthday...

Clay:(Interrupting but not rudely) Mom, what did you call for?
Mom: Oh! Sorry sweetie I lost my train of thought

Clay(inner): As usual...

Mom: Remember that Hope girl you used to run around with? Back in Mulberry?

Clay:(Interested) Yes, what about her?

Mom: She's sick sweetie real sick!

Clay: ...Well what is it? Do you know what she has?

Mom: They say it's luekemia... her mother just called me.

Clay: That's...That's too bad...they're sure?

Mom: Oh I'm sorry sweetheart I am, you should visit her you know! I bet she'd like that!

Clay: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea....Listen mom I gotta go, I'm kind of in the middle of something. Goodbye.

Mom: Okay sweetie I understand how busy you are, make sure to keep eating well! And get good sleep! And...

(Clay hangs up the phone)

Clay:(Internal) She won't even notice I hung up.

(Clay goes back to laying on his bed looking at the ceiling with the radio playing My Morning Jacket-Run Thru)

#9 Relationship Dialogue

(Clay approaches Hope after being in down for several days, she's in the middle of some gardening)

Hope: (without looking) Izzat you Clay?

Clay: (surprised) Uh...yes?

Hope: Yes? You mean you're not sure?!

Clay: I mean uh...Yes. Yes it's me.

Hope: (laughter) C'mon now Clay I'm just bustin' yer chops!

Clay:(Uneasy laughter) So... it's been a while huh?

Hope: You kiddin' me? It's been a dogs age!

#8 Dialogue

1. Effective dialogue moves the story forward
2. Effective dialogue reveals characters relationships
3. Good dialogue is believable
4. Monologues aren't for every character
5. Dialogue is the biggest part of your script

*Bonus* Writing in in dialects help

Blog #7 Hollywood Formula

Opening scene: The camera starts on a lump in a bed (Clay) he's a messy sleeper an almost looks worried in his sleep. The shot continues to change to him doing his morning routine all the while looking miserable. Brushing his teeth: Miserable. Showering: Miserable. Combing his hair: Miserable. Pouring Orange Juice: Miserable. Eating Instant Grits(The breakfast of the depressed): Miserable. We then see Clay walking down a painfully long spiral staircase, not a beautiful elegant spiral staircase, rather a tarnished industrial staircase in an equally sad apartment building with peeling paint and faded oriental rugs. Clay passes several solemn faces on his way out and none utter a word to eachother. As he steps out into a smoggy city street he takes a deep breath and sighs. The audience should understand that he's a depressed man

The Subplot: As Clay and Hope drive by the old "treasure chest" they hid, we leave the car that they are in and see a young boy and girl uncover the chest. They open it and see the instructions to the "real" treasure and decided to pursue it. (They then go by all the landmarks from Clays youth and build their own memories, when they find the treasure it's a drawing of a butt and a face with it's tongue sticking out. It was all a prank from Hope and Clays youth)

The "All is lost" Moment: Clay is on his way to Hopes house and when he arrives he see's a note on the door. It said her condition worsened and she's been taking to Hospice for the final days of her Luekemia. He then remembers her condition (something he'd forgotten after spending so much time with her) and falls back into a depressed state

Outline #6

Clay sits on the train taking him home to Mulberry, he looks at an old picture of Hope. The Photo is worn with time and has a few water stains on it, but we're still able to see her natural beauty. He runs his hand through his hair and mumbles to himself about "Not gonna be able to do this..." and steps off the train into the brisk night air.

For the first week Clay is in town he doesn't visit his old love, rather he sits in his hotel room at the Home-E-Hotel. Evenetually when walking to the grocery store he sees her and hides, after his return "Home" he decided it's time to visit her.

1. Clay talks to Hope and find out she no longer teaches and that she wants to spend time with him
2. Hope and Clay do some yard work the next day for an old woman they both remember.
3.
4. Clay and Hope go for a walk to their favorite places as children Apple Tree here
5. Clay hurries to the hospital when Hope is taken in. It's revealed there is nothing the doctors can do and Hope decides to spend her final days in her home. She invites Clay to live with her and take care of her.

Clay needs to overcome his nervousness in order to live with Hope. He does and spends only two days with her until she dies one afternoon. This drives Clay mad and he decides to kill himself.

 It is only while standing on an old bridge that he sees an Apple tree by the side of bridge. He breaks down and while sobbing promises he won't do it, for her sake.

Clay finally ditches his stress (which he acquired up North anyways) and decides to live in Hopes home, he's also no longer depressed and the simple life Hope enjoyed is enough for him too.

Passing Afternoon-Logline

When a banker returns to his southern hometown of Mulberry Virginia to make amends with his Leukemia stricken first love, he must overcome his stress and depression.

Post 2.

Some things I aim to adjust in my writing are my tone and my stamina. I'm not sure why but almost all of my writing are sad or have a very sad ending, it would be pretty nice to be able to write a happy story that I'm pleased with. In all my past attempts I do fine at first but then they spiral into a "Hero has Fallen" story, maybe I just run out of happy words that I know. That's another thing I have little word caches in my brain and there's ALOT under sad, they're all so visceral and raw too! I find they're the best words to use when conveying a mood, I guess I just need to learn more happy words. My stamina also needs an adjustment because I really don't have any at all, I find inspiration for "the next line" everywhere so it's nice for me to write bit by bit all day, granted I write for longer before bed I almost never sit down to write. I think my system works for me but it would be nice to be able to settle down midday and write out a few pages. Overall my two goals seem achievable but I'd also like to attain the general goals, become a better writer, write better plots, and have writing come a little more easily to me. Those however will be a bit more difficult in that they'll be alot harder for me to keep track of progress-wise.

Welcome

Welcome to my blog. This is for school so no one follow me Please follow me! I like writing in the third person, however I'm getting better at first person. Poetry is also interesting and I am excited to work more on that. I am taking creative writing (my fourth english elective) because I like writing and it'll force me to write more, if I didn't take it I wouldn't write as much on my own....I've been sitting here for about five minutes and everyone is still typing, how much am I supposed to put down? Whatever I don't dislike writing, I just don't see how everyone has so much to say in welcome post.


Top three books I loved as a kid from youngest to oldest!!
1. Go Dog Go
2. Calvin and Hobbes (I know not a book but I loved them)
3. The Phantom Tollbooth


I just looked around at everyones screens and they weren't working on the blog...I hope mine isn't too long now.